why resist?

last thursday i stayed up until 4am. normally i would not be pumped about this. so many thoughts ran through my head that got me fired up. what if i was a high school teacher? what if i can make an impact on a teenager that will last a lifetime? as i write this several teachers automatically come to mind: Momma Chern, Dileo, Mr. Sue-Jeens-Ski, Giles.

Giles is a licensed lawyer. he decided to teach business law, a job with a LOT less income. i went to visit him during his office hours, and he lit up. i could touch his passion it was so evident.

Momma Chern! during fourth period one day, she looked down and said, "these aren't my pants!" FOURTH PERIOD! i loved AP English, and writing for me is pulling teeth!

Dileo - a man with a stutter. enough said.

Mr. S greeted me as I walked into his classroom. he cried on the last day. that caught me off guard. i want to be that passionate.

it's a matter of me getting the balls to follow through with this. i'm signed on for two years at Genworth Financial. after that, MBA? masters of Education? or maybe consulting.

uncertainty... i hate it and i love it. i want to know what i'm doing in the future, but i love it how God has some sweet plans up his sleeve.

my last semester

and i'm back at VT for my last semester. i felt out of whack for a few days before school started. i suppose it was the break in my routine of school. winter break was nice to chill at home, but I missed being at school. i'm used to school. i'm used to waking up every morning to go lift weights with 3 awesome Godly men. routine. it has been routine for me to be surrounded by such an awesome community. God has brought me through quite a bit since sophomore year.

i feel like this is going to be one of those "reflective" semesters. Jason told me the other day that I should not be surprised at seeing miracles. God's provision for me last summer was a miracle. I had no place to live. God provided. i didn't know which church to go to. God provided. i was beginning to wonder about whether or not I would ever meet someone. God provided. i do not know what the future holds, but i do know that God does. my future is in the hands of God. and He has a good future for me. He wants me to be happy. He wants me to feel joy. He does no rejoice in my sadness. He does not rejoice in my emptiness. He does not rejoice in my guilt.

I too often forget God's grace. i completely disregard it at times. Jesus' blood has washed away my sins. my sins yesterday, my sins today, my sins tomorrow. washed away. for me to feel guilt is to walk away from the cross. for me to obsess over the past is to walk away from the cross. i must not walk away from the cross. i must not walk away from the gift of salvation. i must embrace God's grace. i must embrace the cross.

k i'm butt-tired. i am pretty pumped about sleeping in tomorrow. big fan :)

thanksgiving break

hello all. so here i am chillin' at the home front in NOVA (burke, va). before i came here i first stopped by lynchburg to visit a pretty gal named Laura. and, to see some friends of mine i made last summer. we had an awesome time. she even suggested that we watch The Three Amigos. i like this girl ;-) it was good times. she liked the movie :)

it's nice to not do school work for a little bit. i've been pretty good at being a bum around the house. so i've got that going for me, which is nice. i'm wicked psyched to see people this wednesday. laura, definitely. and, my bro, future sis-in-law, cousins, aunt/uncles. and, my grand parents. i look forward to catching up with my grandfather in particular. we've recently established a correspondence via letters, and i'm curious to see what his thoughts are on my last letter. he sent me a frank letter with pretty blunt remarks, so i returned the tone. it's nice to stand up for who i am. i'm no longer a fan of backing down. turn the other cheek, definitely, but also let people know who you are. "let people feel the weight of who you are, and let them deal with it" (quoted in John Eldredge's book, Wild at Heart).

okay it is time for bed. and, i just might sleep in again. i did this morning, and it was nice :)

my question to leave you with: where does God fit in your life?

my first blog entry!

well hello everyone. i'm not really sure who is ever going to read this, but it's all good. i'm not really sure what kind of stuff to write about in these blogs, quite frankly. but, i'm going to roll with it. yup... so... i guess that's it for now. i'm now going to head to the ol' car dealership and be all "yo, can you hook a brother up and fix my car for me? for free?" we'll see how that works out ;-)

may God reveal himself to you today.