Go On...

Awesome Tozer devotional

2010-09-18T09:10:00.000-07:00

This rocked my world yesterday morning before work. I highly recommend. Favorite part is the first line, "The warmest hearts and the coolest heads anywhere at any time should always belong to the Christians." This is from Tozer for Today, a 366-day Devotional (click on it to see full view):

Love it when God interrupts me, part deaux

2010-04-10T12:29:00.000-07:00

(part uno: http://urlme.cc/interrupt1)

my thoughts, "sweet mercy that was a dumb thing to say. why did I say that? dahhh I wish I hadn't said tha--"

"are you going to live in slavery?" (in God's still, small voice)

And then this verse came to mind: "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery" - Galatians 5:1. Another good interruption from my circular thoughts that kept me up a few nights ago. This verse offers so much freedom. I love it.

Spirit of sonship

2010-01-31T19:23:00.001-08:00

I've hit a slight case of, what doctors call, "writer's block." I'm just gonna push thru tho. Let's see how this goes.

As you may or may not know, LOST final season premier is this Tuesday. Am I stoked? Yes. In anticipation of Tuesday, I watched some of last season with some buddies of mine today, and one scene stood out to me. Backdrop - there's this dude named Sayid who used to be in the Iraqi army, and he's done some bad stuff (killed people, tortured people, ect ect).

Ben finds him as he's building escuelas in Santo Domingo, Habitat for Humanity style, and tells him that he is a killer. He defines Sayid, gives him his purpose. You can tell Sayid is super conflicted about it, because there he is building this escuela for kids, maybe trying to redeem his shameful past.

I think about Christians, and the name we can claim for ourselves. Those around us, even with great intentions, can attempt to define who we are, to name us. However, we can rightfully claim ourselves as God's children.

"because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "'Abba,' Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children" - Romans 8:14-16.

And that's it. God calls us his children. It must have been life-changing for Abram when God changes his name to Abraham, meaning "father of many nations." In this one transaction, God confirms his covenant with Abraham and gives him his purpose. So cool.

The end.

God carries on to completion

2010-01-09T19:02:00.000-08:00

A couple nights ago I picked up a book to re-read, called Jesus: The Stranger to Self-Hatred by Brennan Manning. If you haven't read it, and you struggle w/ that kind of thing, then I can't recommend it enough. It's on point.

So I started to read it again, and realized that I didn't need to. I had a moment of, Yes, thank God that that is not as much of a struggle as it was a year or two ago. And that's zero percent anything that I did, but 100% God bringing me through that, by his grace and his grace alone.

The following verse honestly never meant much to me, because I get impatient with the whole restoration process, but it's very real to me now: "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" - Philippians 1:6.

Thank God that he cares about us to continue working on us, like a potter molds clay, even through the storms of life.

Clarity vs. Trust

2010-01-08T19:01:00.001-08:00

Just after reading a few preview pages from Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning, one thing stuck out to me. This guy he talks about goes to Calcutta to serve and figure out what he is to do w/ the rest of his life, and he asks Mother Teresa to pray for him. What for?, she asks. For clarity. She responds: No, I will not do that. That's the last thing you're holding on to that you need to let go of. I have never had clarity, what I have always had is trust. So I will pray that you trust God.

This is intriguing, because I can't count the number of times I pray for clarity, and have prayed over friends for the same thing. But, what if trusting God means accepting a certain lack of clarity. I think we all want clarity, but, I wonder if part of trusting God is accepting that he wants us to give up some clarity so that we can rely on him more, so that we can trust him more.

And if you think about it, why do we want clarity? I know I want it because I want to know what the mess is going on in my life, or in the lives of those around me. I want to have the knowledge of how something is going to turn out. I kinda feel like Adam in that way, I guess.

But that leaves no room for God. I don't need God if I have full clarity; he's of no use to me then.

So, instead of praying for clarity, I'm going to pray for the ability and courage to trust God.

Paul doesn't have it together

2010-01-07T19:34:00.000-08:00

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate I do" - Romans 7:15.

and...

"So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law" - Romans 5:16-18.

Reading Paul's letters is a breath of fresh air sometimes (now) for me. "I do not understand what I do" and "they are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want."

I feel like Paul gets it.

There's this tension. These constant forces that directly oppose each other, and sometimes you end up not understanding what you're doing. I read that as, Paul doesn't have his stuff together and he's honest about it. I'm glad he's honest about it.

So, what then? What if we don't have our stuff together, and we're left with our hands out, palms facing upwards, saying, "I don't freaking get this." What then?

I guess we remember the truths about God. The promises.

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

There is now, no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). Am I "in" Christ Jesus? He is my redeemer, he is my Wonderful Counselor, my Prince of Peace, my Almighty God, my Everlasting Father, and I can call him Abba.

So I guess it's about perspective, right? When you do stuff you don't want to do, or not do stuff that you want to do, then at least there's an unstoppable Mighty Love that doesn't shift. And when we F up, to some degree it doesn't even phase God, because he doesn't love us based on how well we have our stuff together.

ect ect.

Or maybe I'm trying to find external stuff to explain things, when it's more a matter of self-control and self-discipline. That wears me out, because I begin to forget God's love and get upset about not having enough self-discipline and brute force strength to get my stuff together. And. it's. exhausting.

Hellen

2010-01-01T16:38:00.000-08:00

I don't know why I do this, but when I'm in an airport for 3 hours I need to find ways to entertain myself, even if at the expense of others. You be the judge.

The following dialog took place when I was ordering lunch today from an airport. In order to protect the anonymity of all parties, I won't say which airport it was, nor reveal the name of the sandwich place. I will say however that it was one of the major airports in Charlotte, NC, and for story's sake, I'll make up a name of the place: Quiznos Subz.

me, "Hi. I'd like a small sub, the smallest size available please."

Hellen (I didn't catch her name but she looked like a Hellen), "We only have one size."

me, "Ok. I'll have a one-size sub then."

I wish this was the only time I pulled something like this, but it's certainly not. Far. From. It. The first time was back in 2007, on a Tuesday (not sure what day it was): Size Smoothie, Please. All in all, only 2 times I guess. And I wonder if I'm the only person I know who thinks it's funny. Her facial expression translated into words would have been, "you're an idiot." Ha.

Florida - Gorgeous! (Old School reference nbd, sort of)

2009-12-30T06:49:00.000-08:00

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ" - Galatians 1:10.

This verse came to mind several times in the days leading to my visit to see my grandparents in FL. And just last night at dinner, I feel like God had to nudge me with, "remember that verse I brought to your mind. Yes that applies. Right. Now."

Words from family members tend to have much more of an effect on someone. Words from people who have known you from day 1 cut much deeper from those of a stranger, or even a friend.

God has been gracious. Since last night there are approx 5 comebacks with which I could have returned the cutting jab, but God keeps bringing that verse to mind, which helps me combat my flesh. The Enemy is ready to provide me with equally cutting words, but I reject them.

I like the end part of the verse, "If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." I read that, "if you're worried about making men happy, then I can't use you Ian" and I think God wants to use each and every one of us to advance the Kingdom. Do I want to be used by God, do I want to be a servant of Christ? A thousand times yes, so that adds some extra motivation to turn the other cheek and to love said family member who is loose with his or her tongue.

If that motivation of wanting to be a servant of Christ is not enough, there's the "love your neighbor" verse. "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" - John 13:34-35.

I remember one time I gave a certain family member a big hug when a handshake was expected, and it sort of paralyzed him (um...or her. ok it's a him :). So when we can return a jab with an act or word filled with love, then that's powerful.

That's the Kingdom.

** I hesitate to write this entry and I wanna backspace the heck out of it for fear of giving the impression that my time in FL with my grandparents is not enjoyable. Beneath it all, I am forever thankful to be with my grandparents. Another reality that hits me is that my grandparents are just people. My grandpa's just a guy, and my grandma's just a girl. A guy and a girl who decided to marry each other, and later to have kids who then had kids, ect ect. They, just like me, just like you, have a past full of successes, and some failures. Not all of it is rosy, and on this level I can relate to them. We're all broken, but we're still all created by God who relentlessly pursues us in order to make us whole again, to complete His work in us.

*** why the picture of Bush? I'll blog about it later. Let's just say that W and I are now bbf's now tho nbd.

Lean

2009-12-15T21:16:00.000-08:00

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Prov 3:5-6

I felt like I needed to sit in silence for a minute, so I put my chillin' mix on. But even my chillin' mix doesn't allow God the space to meet with me. If you know me well it takes a miracle for me to chill w/OUT my chillin' mix on :) Maybe I need to create a Silent Mix with zero tracks on it. I digress...

"Can you turn that off, too" says God. Ok fine.

Sometimes I get to this place where I have 80,000 thoughts running thru my mind, mostly jumbled up, and they consume me. I push God out of the picture the more I dwell on them, which leads me to where I end up now.

The silence.

And that verse pops into my head. And I feel like I can finally STOP leaning (slash dwelling) on my human, ugly, feet-running-in-place thoughts and it finally forces me to throw my hands up and say "ok I can't do anything more at this point. I'm just running in place now. I guess I have to trust you. I need to acknowledge you now, b/c I'm done with trying to figure out this stuff on my own. Because I'm tired, fresh out of energy, and I don't get it"

Not going to say it's rock bottom, but, it's certainly not a spacious place, where God ultimately wants to bring us into.

"He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me." - Ps 18:19

That verse has been coming to mind today. After David has the "chords of death entangling him," God rescues him b/c He delights in him, and He brings him into a spacious place.

A spacious place, where he looks all around, and there's nothing, nothing but the Father who just took him to that place. No enemies. No worries. No jumbling thoughts. Nothing. Peace.

But I don't think we can live in that space forever. Perhaps it's an "ok child, O child whom I created with my bare hands in your mother's womb, let me draw you out of these deep waters and take you to this place so we can spend time together, just you and me. Let me show you Truth. Let me show you my everlasting, ever-faithful promises I have for you."

And we get refreshed. And then maybe God nudges us back to real life, and gives us that free will to make choices, to make decisions, but at least we can feel better about stepping forward after we've met with Him. I need to meet with Him, I need him to come and meet with me.

Paul's (my) Contradictory Life

2009-12-06T19:12:00.000-08:00

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." - Romans 7:15.

This verse has been coming to mind a lot over the past several weeks, and I'm not sure why. Sometimes God can bring stuff to mind w/out saying why and we just need to be OK with that, I suppose.

I wonder tho if this verse applies only to the sinful nature we have, or if it can apply to simply us humans behaving in a way that's contrary to what we want. Fear can be a part of that; it can be this driving force in our lives, compelling us to do things that we don't want to do, or NOT do things that we want to do. There's the fear of the unknown, the fear of failure, the fear of rejection.

I suppose when we let fear drive us, then that is sin, so maybe it circles back around to the sinful nature I was talking about.

I say all of this because I am afraid to sit down one day and make a chart of "What I'm currently doing" and "What I want to do." I'm afraid that they will be vastly different, and I'll wonder what I'm doing with my life.

So what, then? Do I go after the things in the right-hand column, the things I want to do, and deal with consequences if it gets ugly? I should at least do a self-eval to see if any fears or anxieties are keeping me from moving in any given direction that God is calling me too, a direction on a path that I am currently not on.

Not sure what to make of all of that, and there's still more "abrewin'" in my heart and mind about this. But it's hard to explain, hard to put in words.

Final thought - I love how Paul's real honest in how he's living this contradictory life, because my life too often feels like a giant contradiction between the things that I believe in, the things I want to do, and the things I'm actually doing.

Thankful tho for God's grace, a grace that I should receive like a child, a child who can do nothing of merit to deserve that grace.

YMCA

2009-11-22T14:29:00.000-08:00

If you know me much at all, you know that I like to bend the rules sometimes, or not even follow them at all if I don't agree with them. Por ejemplo: making a U-turn when there's a "No U-turn" sign. Or, making a U-turn when there is a "No Left" sign, because a Left is not technically a U-turn.

When I moved to Richmond in 2005, I joined the downtown Y. They look at the previous years tax returns to determine how much I needed to pay per month, so I ended up with a super cheap monthly membership fee b/c in 2004 I was a student and I think I made a total of $100 (I substitute taught for 2 or 3 days nbd). The Y was all "Ian you are poor so we're not going to make you pay much" and I said "OK great I hope this lasts forever great thanks."

I now have a job and I make more than $100 a year. But!, the Y never asked me to re-evaluate my membership, and I never volunteered to let them know that my income has changed. Let a sleeping dog lie. I mean, don't punch a dead horse in the face. Wait, it has to be your dead horse.

But you see what I'm saying. I felt like I was workin' it w/ this membership thing, paying not much at all even tho if I were to join fresh as a new member, I'd have to pay more. Workin' it. Stickin' it to the man sort of.

But today!, I walked into the Y and the dude was all "ok Mr. Davis, looks like we'll have to re-evaluate your income situation" so my heart stopped for 3 minutes and I was all "hmm.... why should we go and do that?" - "b/c the time is up, time to re-evaluate. Please bring last year's tax statements."

So what am I going to do? Good thing I dabble in a little piece of software called MS Paint, and I've been taking MS Paint night classes from 5:30pm - 3am every day after work, so I'm going to use my 2004's tax return and just change all the 2004's to 2008's. It's a win-win...-win.

What is my goal? My goal is to pay even LESS than what I do now, to find some loophole in the system, or maybe even give them a coworker's bank account number instead of mine. Because this is what I do: I do my best to work the system.

Free Samples + Peace Not Anxiety

2009-11-02T18:40:00.000-08:00

2 things have been on my mind today, and they are related I think.

I. love. free. samples. Today no kidding I went to UKrops, walking in the store fully intending to ravage the free samples, and I ate (count it) SEVEN pieces of sushi from the sushi sample plate. Seven, right in front of the Japanese sushi guy. It was so good and I feel great about it. Best decision of my life.
Speaking of decisions, another thought hit me. I am glad that my God is a God who works with peace and not anxiety, especially when his children make life decisions. So many times do I let anxiety dictate my steps and I end up making poor decisions. And I think, F that was dumb. But, I think it's perfectly fine to expect God's peace to accompany big decisions in life, for His peace to drive those decisions.

Point #2 is the main thing for this post, so I'm breaking off of the bullet thing nbd. More about the peace thing, so we have "let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts" from Colossians 3:15, which I think is a command more than anything. It's a command for us to truly let the peace of Christ rule inside of our hearts, our being, our thoughts. And the peace of Christ cannot co-exist simultaneously with anxiety. They cannot co-habitat. They would suck as roommates, even if they had a foosball table (I played foosball w/ my roommates in college 24/7).

And then we have another command: do not worry about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:6-7.

And I love this promise and I bank my life on it. However, it takes action from us in order to receive that peace. We are commanded to not worry about anything. That is on us.

So with all of that said, I fully expect God's peace to dictate my decisions, and to direct my steps. I hate HATE when people say "you know, maybe you just have this worry-thing going on in your life, this slight OCD where you over-analyze everything and anxiety gets the best of you sometimes, and you just have to walk with that as your crutch," because that is bullshit and God does not work like that. We're made in His image and Jesus doesn't have a worry problem. And I am happy to be called a child of God.

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" 1 John 3:1.

Ps. one final thought, I love how scripture uses the word "lavish," just like God lavishes his grace on us: "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding" Ephesians 1:7-8. When I think Lavish I think pouring down rain, where it completely covers us and we cannot escape it. It just keeps pouring down on us, and God's fully aware of it and it's very intentional (the "with all wisdom and understanding" part). I love that picture.

Today

2009-10-28T19:32:00.000-07:00

In college a buddy of mine's parents told him as he dropped him off that the next four years would be the best years of his life.

And that made me feel so depressed. What about life after those four years? When I switched majors, I certainly didn't cram extra classes into the semesters in order to still make it under 4, because I saw it as an opportunity to make those "four best years of my life" into those "five best years of my life."

But

can't

so.

I cannot believe that life peaks when you go to college and after that it's like Crap, now it's just maintenance mode until I die b/c I had all the fun and excitement that I was going to have.

And I remember the first time I went back to visit campus. I stayed at my old apartment, and despair gripped me so tightly it took the breath out of me. Why am I not here anymore, I thought. Why am I not here with the close, deep community that I knew so well. Why am I now at a job that I loathe in a place that is not Blacksburg VA? It's been much better since that first visit whenever I go back, but it's still hard for some reason.

I just watched a NOOMA video where Rob Bell talks about this sort of thing, where if we're holding onto the way things were, then our arms aren't free to embrace today. He says that life is not static. Things change, friends come and go, people lose jobs, friends die, people get married, people don't get married, so on and so on. And that's the way it is.

He illustrated w/ the story of Jesus reappearing to Mary Magdalene after Jesus resurrects from the dead. This same Jesus drove out 7 demons from Mary's life, so you can imagine how excited Mary was to see him. She must have wanted for things to go back to the way they were.

But Jesus told her, "let go of me," and he tells her to tell everyone what happened. He gives her a role to play. He later gives his disciples the Holy Spirit and says Go, I will give you what you need in life with this Holy Spirit of mine, which is Myself.

So we are to receive this new Spirit, to receive whatever role Jesus is giving us, and we are to walk forward and embrace today.

Blackberries and Alligators

2009-10-27T11:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get annoyed when I'm talking to someone and they're playing with their iPhone or blackberry during the conversation. So instead of getting bummed out about it, I am going to start saying random things to see if they're paying attention.

"And then the alligator looked straight at me, and that is when I knew: today is the day I fight an alligator."

Love it when God interrupts me

2009-10-21T13:34:00.001-07:00

God, what about A, B, C?!

"don't worry..."

OK OK thanks I won't.

...

But what about THIS?! Dahhhh!

"don't worry..."

But have you tho--"I said don't worry"

And that is my favorite part. When I keep asking/worrying and God finally starts interrupting me in my thoughts with a gentle, "do not worry, I told you, do not worry."

I'm glad he does that.

Switzerland Visit Day 7: Lucerne, Lion + Mirrors + Final Day

2009-10-19T16:06:00.000-07:00

Last day in Lucerne. Woke up and had another good Swiss breakfast. Had 2 nutella-filled donuts this time. In heaven they will serve those.

Just up the road from our hotel there was this lion statue that is like the logo for Lucerne. Some war happened and this lion sketched in this wall of rock symbolized it in some way that I now forget. The lion was gigantic and had a spear in the side, and tears flowing from his eyes. It was majestic because I think both lions and horses are majestic.

Next to the lion there was a glacier museum which was pretty sweet. Back in the day Lucerne was covered by glaciers, so the museum contained remnants of these glaciers. Pretty amazing. They had these glacier potholes which were gigantic. There were also these super ancient artifacts. The common tool known as the "knife" has been around for a long, long time.

Towards the end of the museum, there was this room of mirrors. It was a maze that you had to go through. You have to walk 1 mph with your arms stretched out and if you're lucky you don't walk into 10 mirrors, and then get nauseous. They should have called it a "slice of hell."

After the museum we took the train that goes a million mph back to Gland. Trip to Lucerne = Success.

Switzerland Visit Day 6: Lucerne, Mt Pilatus - God Likes to Dazzle Us

2009-10-18T14:09:00.000-07:00

Woke up and had some breakfast in the hotel which was amazing. Bread + nutella yes please. Donut w/ some nutella inside said donut, yes please. Also had some super tart grapefruit juice which was a good kick in the face. Loved it.

We took another excursion to Mt Pilatus, and the round trip involved 5 different modes of transportation: (1) boat to base of mountain, (2) super steep death train type thing to get to the top, (3) big container that goes on a line like that one episode of MacGyver, (4) mini version of #3, and (5) bus. (2) was my favorite b/c it was at a 48% angle and you look ahead of you at this track going straight up and you think this is my last day on this earth and you look to the right and see a drop-off and you again think, today I will see heaven because I am going to DIE. We did not die though. 48% angle by the way was the steepest in the entire universe said my Dad who did research.

So we made it to the top of Mt Pilatus and it was breath-taking. I think God makes these beautiful parts of the earth just to dazzle us (I think this idea is from To Own a Dragon by Don Miller, you should read it if you haven't). Mountains all around and there were these guys chillin' in little chairs with wings on them that were flying thru the air. I want to do that one day, maybe next week I don't know. But there they were flying around us, livin' the dream. Maybe the first time I go I'll go tandem with a professional, because I'm not sure if that's something you can just "feel out" when you get up in the air. Maybe you can.

At night we walked around the city, and I started to notice the swans. They are these huge gigantic birds and you can get real close to them but be careful b/c they're a little irritable. This made me want to mess with them some, to push their limits. I went pretty close to them but they did not attack my face thankfully.

At one point we heard some Ricola instruments playing and flocked immediately to the source of this beautiful sound. This group of Ricola players, Ricolists if you will, just gathered and started playing for passer-byers. I thought, yes I am officially for sure in Switzerland because this is what you do in Switzerland: start learning how to play Ricola at a very young age (3) and then become awesome at it and get together with other Ricolists and play for people in Lucerne, Switzerland.

Excellent day in Lucerne.

Switzerland Visit Days 5: Lucerne, Tower + Brewery + Starbucks + Long Pants

2009-10-18T13:39:00.000-07:00

Lucerne! - the sunshine state, gorgeous! (10 pts if you can guess what movie that is from)

Days 5-7 we took an excursion to Lucerne, 2 nights at a hotel in the city. It was fun to get away for kicks and pretend like we're world travelers. We took the train which went a million miles per hour, and whenever the train staff wasn't walking by, I would put my feet up. They don't like that, but I'm not always one to follow the rules.

There is a wall bordering part of the city, with lots of towers. We went up 5,000,000 stairs to get to the top of one, and the billion stairs was so worth it. The view was amazing. There was this llama hanging out in a field, with a light panel getting energy from the sun to power the surrounding electric fence. That is how wireless energy is going to work I have decided.

One interesting super-not-substantial thing the four of us noticed is that no one ever wears shorts. Long pants 24/7. I wore shorts and I definitely stood out. I wonder if that's just not their style, which is totally fine. I did see runners wearing shorts tho, so I gave them a high five when they passed by as a "way to go against the grain!" (I didn't, but wanted to).

On night 1 we went to a brewery, and Lucerne is in a German-speaking part of Switzerland, ipso facto the beer was really good. I had 1 light beer and 1 dark beer, thank you very much. Not at the same time b/c that would be just crazy. It was good beer and it complimented the mac & cheese that I had as an entree. Win-win.

There is this absolutely beautiful river that runs through the city, and a part of it was under construction with a make-shift dam (dam!). So this water was getting backed up, then it just released in the corner at the end of said dam. It was just beautiful and I took lots of pictures. I'm not sure why I was taken aback by the dam so much, but just the water gushing thru was really cool, and you can go right up to it. I wanted to jump in and have an adventure but then I thought if I drowned then I couldn't enjoy more of Lucerne, b/c there were more things to see than just the towers + brewery + people wearing long pants + dam.

There were a couple of bridges that crossed the river, and one of them was super historic and wooden, and a good chunk of it caught fire in '93. A boat went underneath and got caught and there was fire. Sucks to be that guy. Lots of original paintings in the bridge were wiped out.

That night we walked around some and I hit up Starbucks. There was an upper level which overlooked the river, with Iron & Wine playing in the background and it was ah so nice.

Switzerland Visit Day 4: Nyon + France

2009-10-13T19:38:00.000-07:00

A-ma-zing day. We went to Nyon, the town right next to Gland where my parents live, and took a boat across Lake Geneva to see France for a couple hours. That is the day summed up. The end.

Just kidding I'll talk about Nyon first. I talked about the city some in my last post. On day 4 we walked around a good bit, and it's very hilly but has fun houses that are high and right next to each other. Semi-related note: people in Switzerland are not afraid to eat right next to strangers. Por ejemplo: in Lucerne I saw a couple of friends sitting at the same medium-sized table as a group of four friends. It's fun because they don't know each other, but whatever why not sit next to each other. I want to sit next to someone in a coffee shop when the rest of the place is empty. Just a heads up if you find yourself in an empty coffee shop.

Back to Nyon. We walked around some then got on the boat across Lake Geneva to see France. I re-enacted the scene from Titanic where Leonardo stands in front of the ship and Celine Dion is singing her song. See above. The boat ride was fun.

France was similar to Switzerland, but had a slightly different feel to it that I can't really explain. We stopped at a restaurant that had CREPES (ya know, the little pancakes). I had an egg + ham + cheese crepe, then shared a Nutella crepe with my Mom. I could eat one Nutella crepe a day they're so good.

We got back on the boat back to Nyon, and then hopped on the mini-train tour. I felt like I was on those trains you see in amusement parks that kids are on (where you secretly want to be on them too, or at least I did). It was awesome. Trying to think of interesting tidbits I learned from the tour... zero, I don't remember any sorry. I should have just typed "it was cool" :-P Wait we did pass a school that had been there forever. Yep.

I think we played Euchre that night. My Mom and I teamed up against Tamara and Shelly. Love that game.

And........... that sums it up. Next up: visit to Lucerne, days 5-7.

Switzerland Visit Day 3: Hike + Cows, Church

2009-10-05T20:19:00.000-07:00

Day 3: slept in and eased into the day. We went to some mountain (forgot the name) and hiked on it. On the way we saw some cows that had cow bells on them. As we were hiking, we could hear the bells off in the distance. Then we came across some a few feet from the path, and I could have watched them all day. Love cows. Perhaps I was meant to grow up on a farm! Picture above is one that I took.

We booked it towards the end of the hike so that my Mom and I could check out West Lake Church in Nyon, Switzerland. It's an English-speaking church, so all the sudden I feel like I'm back in the US. It was nice, comfortable. The guest pastor spoke about his mission work in India, where he has been for 30 some years. Incredible - he set up businesses to employee girls otherwise selling themselves in the sex trade. He would enter an Indian village, live there, and create businesses there where these women would work. He spoke with so much passion it was convicting. Here this guy is talking about his gritty, in-the-trenches work in India. So cool.

After the service ended we walked to the train in Nyon. It's a cool city. And the trains are ALWAYS on time. You can bet your life on it (I wouldn't tho because it's not worth betting your life on a train. doesn't make sense). I appreciate that about Switzerland: their public transportation system rocks and they're super on top of it.

We capped off the evening watching Boston Redsox vs. Yankees. Brother lives in Boston which makes us all insta-Redsox fans.

Day 3: success.

Switzerland Visit Day 2: Champery, Chillon Castle

2009-09-27T13:01:00.000-07:00

I kicked off Day 2 going for a run (in Switzerland no big deal) in Gland where my parents live. I ran on some of the roads and through the shops and apartments. It's awesome to see mixed residential areas. Lots of buildings have shops on the 0th floor and have apartments on top of them. Switzerland has 0-based floors by the way.

All around Switzerland there are water fountains, which I imagine provide 100% pure water from the top of a mountain. But seriously it's cool because you can fill up your water bottle and it tastes good and it's nice and cold.

I then hit up a cafe and had a hot chocolate, and read some. I learned how to say "hot chocolate please" in French and then she spoke some more French and I was like crap I don't know what you're saying. And she switched to English and said that I can sit and she'll bring it out to me. My French is a bit rusty (I don't know any).

My family later went to visit Champery, a town that exists on a hill in the mountains. I went there several years ago on a band trip and loved it. You enter the start of the hill and there's a playground on your left, and you look up the hill and it's a beautiful little town. There's a clock on the left as you go up less than a mile, and off in the distance during the night time you can see a lit-up cross. It's breath-taking. It's easy to take good pictures there because the town is very picturesque. I bought a miniature cowbell there. Awesome.

We also ran into some other Americans there in Champery. It was nice to see some people who spoke English. We had an instant bond both being from the US. They were super nice and had fancy cameras and have websites where they put their photos online. I'll maybe comment on this post later w/ the website urls.

After Champery we hit up the Chillon Castle right on Lake Geneva. Pretty awesome. A part of me wanted someone to attack the castle while we were touring inside of it, just to make it the full experience. It did not happen. I did learn that the color blue was considered super rare back in the 14th century because you got blue powder from rubbing a rare stone together. As a result, only royalty had blue. So if you had blue back in the 14th century you were kind of a big deal. I would have probably tried to get some on eBay.

On our walk to the car after the castle visit, we walked along Lake Geneva. The lake is super clear, and when it's warm enough you can swim in the lake and look at the mountains and watch the sailboats. Win-win-win.

Later that evening we got back in time to watch VT beat Miami on espn360.com. It was funny watching Virginia Tech play football from Switzerland. Technology is connecting the WORLD together in a beautiful harmony, I think. It's deep I know :)

We also Skyped with my brother which was fun. He lives in Boston.

Switzerland Visit Day 1

2009-09-25T16:08:00.000-07:00

Day 1 of visit to Switzerland. First a quick background. My parents moved there circa 9 months ago, with my Dad getting a new job for World Wildlife Fund. Not sure how long they'll be there. 3 to 5 years, maybe less than 3.

This is my first visit to see them. The traveling was just fine. Flew from Richmond to DC, then DC direct to Geneva. I met my sister in DC and we caught the same flight over, which was nice. She gave me a Tylenol PM on the flight and that knocked me out. A good note to self.

We mostly took it easy on day 1, since we arrived at 8am in the morning, which was weird. It felt like the longest day of my life. I took a nice nap which was oh-so needed. We also walked around Gland some, where my parents live. It's next to Nyon, which is next to Geneva. ish. I convinced them to visit my Dad at work, which rocked. Met his boss who is super cool, and his work place is a 3 minute walk to where they live. Win-win. We also walked to Lake Geneva. Really nice lake, and HUGE!

Part of the chillin' back at the homefront involved playing some Nerts. Love that game.

We had some home-cooked dinner and it was amazing. My Mom doesn't mess around when she cooks. That was nice. I mean pasta or eggs over easy for dinner is good too back when I cook for myself, but, I prefer my Mom's cooking. :)

They have a fun place. They're renting an apartment, and it's right atop of some shops. They walk to the grocery store. They're also just across a lawn from an elementary school. You can hear the kids laugh and play during recess throughout the day, and if Joy had a sound it would be that.

Those are the big things for day 1. Pictures to come. So far it's been a blast. :)

2009-05-20T10:37:00.000-07:00

The code for http://urlme.cc is now hosted on Google Code. What this means: you can go to http://code.google.com/p/urlme-cc and submit requests for new features, bugs, etc. on the Issue tab, and, grab the source code if you want from the Source tab. Go Google.

Alien talking with humans

2009-05-08T12:36:00.000-07:00

Don Miller is one of my favorite authors. Lately I've been re-reading Searching for God Knows What because it's a good book. There is a part where Don imagines what a conversation would look like between an alien and humans, if an alien were to land on earth, having a completely different way of life back in its own alien world.

I'm going to paste a screenshot from Google Books.

Ready?

Ok here it is.

Dramatic Cupcake Dog - Revelation

2009-03-19T06:12:00.000-07:00

Initiative Against Depression, Oswald Chambers

2009-02-19T10:00:00.000-08:00

Initiative Against Depression, Oswald Chambers article rocked my world.

“Arise and eat.” —1 Kings 19:5

Marathon

2008-11-17T17:06:00.000-08:00

On Saturday I ran the Suntrust Richmond Marathon. 26.2 miles. 2:23:58. The guy you see in the picture to the left isn't me. It's another guy.

Thoughts and memories (in no particular order):

At about mile 24.5, after I turned onto Grace street, I heard some bagpipes playing. It took me back to Virginia Tech, when some guy would occasionally walk around campus playing the bagpipes. I think I could listen to bagpipes all day. I love 'em. That got me fired up.
I beat my previous half-marathon time!
Around mile 7 ish, Brian Beasley came up beside me and ran with me for a little bit. That was awesome. Much needed!
Towards the end, circa mile 24, I started to walk for a sec, and some guy behind me said "hey, keep running. I'm following you." That was really encouraging. So we ran together for a little while, talked about life.
I saw a friend from Virginia Tech on the sideline cheering her sister on. Towards the very end of the run, but before the finish line was in site, she jumped on the course and ran with her sister. She encouraged her to keep running. That was so cool to see. I started to tear up a little.
After turning off of Boulevard/Hermitage, after Boulevard mountain (a little hill that felt like K2), my mind shifted to "I'm gonna finish this thing." I hit a few cramps after that, but it didn't really matter because I was gonna finish. Coach Chelle ran alongside for a little bit and said "drink poweraid!" and I said "ok."
After mile 18, a group of friends and my parents cheered me on towards the beginning of the Boulevard leg of the race. I got flashed by Jason and Brian, high-fived by a few, cheered on by all. It was awesome.
Some made it to the finish line and yelled out my name as I was making the last few strides. Oh so encouraging!
The last couple steps across the line. I can't even describe the feeling. All the training, all the support from friends and family, the people I've met along the way. It's like it all culminated into those last couple steps.
I had a slice of pizza afterward. Who would have thought? Pizza at the end of a race. Yes please.

Taxes 2.0

2008-09-14T12:45:00.000-07:00

What if we could choose where our taxes go? We could have a select few bins to put our money in, like military, education, poverty, technology, and then allocate accordingly. I think there would be enough interest towards each bin to keep things going, and people could feel better about paying taxes.

Mario Kart Fun

2008-09-05T11:38:00.001-07:00

Thanks to Nate Cook, Bryan Fischer, Andy & Lydia Myers, John & Beth Lucas for the contributions towards the Ian Davis Mario Kart Fund! It was a hit on the OBX trip. Huge perk, too, of friends unlocking some of the maps and characters for the game.

Donkey Kong is my fav.

Get Fuzzy, 2008-07-21

2008-07-31T05:38:00.000-07:00

Japan is Genius

2008-07-11T11:27:00.000-07:00

I want IN.

Keep it in the oven

2008-06-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

I grew up checking the oven to make sure it was off at least 2 or 3 times every week before going to bed. I worried that it may have been kept on and the house would explode. For a while I wasn't really into swimming indoors because dang what if the roof collapsed and we all drowned. That would suck. I eventually got over that one.

I like to say that I've gotten better about reducing this worry type of mind set, where if I'm not worrying about something I'll find something to worry about. I think I'm getting better at it.

But every once in a while, I think, well hey maybe that's the way I'm wired. God wired some people to take things in stride, and other people to worry about stuff and perpetually over-analyze the crap out of everything and get trapped and be paralyzed by their mind.

Then truth kicks in and I realize that this is a lie from the pit of hell. No one is wired to worry. "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them" (Gen. 1:27). Since I am created in the image of God, and God is not a worrier, then I wasn't created to worry. Right?

So the challenge I am learning is having a complete paradigm shift in my mind, because the more I worry the less I trust God. So my life goal as of late is to change my mind, and a big part of doing this is self-discipline. If I start to worry about something, then I can choose to STOP and pray about it. I'm finding this tough as nails to accomplish, but I'm stoked about where I will be a year from now in this area of my life. I pursue and hope in anticipation.

PayPal (dot com!) setup for IDMKF

2008-05-21T08:39:00.000-07:00

(capped off. I feel kind of bad asking for donations. donate button is now disabled.) So far I have $19 pledged! Go ahead and click that little button up there, if you're feelin' the force (don't force the feel tho). This is for the Ian Davis Mario Kart Fund, to make the upcoming Wii Party a great success. Giggity. Hopefully Blogger doesn't take my Blog down for accepting donations. Look at me, just livin' life on the edge!

Ian Davis Mario Kart Fund (IDMKF)

2008-05-15T06:40:00.001-07:00

So there's this Wii Party coming up w/in the next month or two. So far I have Wii Sports, because it came with my Wii, which is great. And I won the Wii at some conference, doubly great.

In order to make this Wii Party the best party in the universe, Mario Kart would be SWEET! I am now accepting donations to the Ian Davis Mario Kart Fund, and whoever contributes will take part ownership in the game. It will thus, therefore, ipso facto, become a publicly traded game once I get it, given that I get enough contributions. I have no idea what that means or how it plays out, but, if any stock holders want to borrow it they can.

So far I collectively have $11 from Beas, Eric, and Matt S.! Here here!

Google Gadget: Search the Bible / Daily Verse

2008-04-24T12:48:00.000-07:00

Check it - a little gadget for searching the bible for Google Gadgets. It was the recent recipient of the Best Gadget in the Universe Award. It includes a Daily Verse tab which refreshes (every day). Wait, or is it every 4th day. It depends on the strength of the yen.

But seriously, add it here.

Photoshop Challenge

2008-04-18T12:55:00.000-07:00

At work the design team will do a Photoshop Challenge from time to time. They all start w/ the same image and tweak it using their creative mojo. Another web developer and I get in there sometimes and participate.

Check it out! - http://picasaweb.google.com/illushop

4/16

2008-04-17T22:37:00.000-07:00

This is a day late, but that's about right b/c I managed to busy myself enough this week to not think about what happened a year ago. I sort of pushed out that part of my week, off to the side so I wouldn't have to deal with it, all the questions and anger and confusion around it.

Until my drive home tonight from Core. It's as if God was like, "now is a good time." I thought about the time I went to visit the marching band to see the tone section after I graduated a couple years ago. It felt so good to be back, and when I walked toward the back of the field to see some tones, Stack went into really-ecstatic-full-of-joy mode immediately when he saw me. I felt so, missed. It was good to see Stack and it was good to see the tones.

I also thought about how we always sat next to each other in psych class and would walked over to practice afterwards. We usually laughed a good bit on the trek over to the field, and it did my heart good.

And then I thought about how he's dead now, he's not at Tech anymore, he's not around anymore. And to this I cried.

I parked my car outside of my place, and I cried. And then I felt the presence of my heavenly Father, Abba, the all-compassionate God. And it was like He sat with me while I cried and wrapped His arms around me, and mourned with me. Now as I write this I feel a hint of rejoice, because the loving, compassionate God whom I trust was willing to meet with me.

San Francisco Pictures

2008-04-09T19:18:00.001-07:00

I recently went to San Francisco for a conference and it was lots of fun. You can see pictures here: http://picasaweb.google.com/ihdavis/SanFranciscoSpring2008VSLive

Dr. Pepper...so worth it

2008-02-04T10:35:00.000-08:00

I work in a building that holds a few companies, one of them being First Market Bank. They have the entire second floor, complete with a sweet lounge with candy and soda machines. You can get a can of soda for fiddy cent.

The door is always open, so several months ago I'd go every once in a while during lunch to get a Dr. Pepper. It was great. Then one day some woman asked me, "do you work for First Market Bank?" to which I replied, "no." She then said, "well, our company provides us those drinks subsidized at a reduced price, so they're only for First Market Bank employees." Bummer.

I still go from time to time, just not during lunch. I have a hard time obeying rules that I don't agree with. We share the same building and their lounge door is always open. This may come back to haunt me some day.

This has dramatically become less frequent, however, ever since I jammed the machine. I took orders from my floor for 4 Dr. Peppers. I went down and cranked them all out, hitting the button one after the other. I didn't remove each can before getting the next, just got them all in bulk. They got stuck. I panicked. I ran upstairs and grabbed a co-worker of mine and some scissors. If worse came to worst I could always puncture one can and have it drain, then crush it to get the others. My co-worker and now friend pulled a MacGyver and pulled them all out, unharmed. I took them up with me and we enjoyed some nice Dr. Pepper, subsidized by First Market Bank.

I do what I do. This story is along the same lines as story #2 on this post: Wet Paint Sign + Women's Forum

Beating up 5-yr olds

2008-01-30T14:28:00.000-08:00

Starbucks Anti-war Hoax

2008-01-09T06:13:00.000-08:00

(Link: Starbucks Anti-war Hoax)

Not too long ago I received an email forward about a US soldier writing to Starbucks asking them to send over coffee to US troops in Iraq. Starbucks responded by saying they will not because they do not support the war. I later found out that this is indeed a hoax.

What if it wasn't a hoax? I wouldn't disagree with Starbucks. Although, can you support something without endorsing it? What if they sent coffee over while declaring, "here's some coffee, but we hope that you all can be out of Iraq ASAP because the war sucks."

Or what if they said, "here's some coffee, take half of it for yourselves and half of it for the Iraqi soldiers, or the Iraqi children." That would be revolutionary.*

I don't intend to spark a heated discussion over the Iraqi situation, but I did want to throw it out there.

* Thought inspired by some good conversation with a buddy of mine, Jake.

Gizoogle

2008-01-08T11:12:00.000-08:00

I love this. Props to Beas for enlightening me to Gizoogle.

(link: my blog, gansta style)

Funny Videos Thursday

2007-12-27T06:23:00.000-08:00

Evil Eye Baby...

Hancock trailer...

Cops parking illegally

2007-12-18T09:35:00.000-08:00

I'm glad someone had the guts to confront them! It's ridiculous to see cops do this sometimes...

Loren Radis discovered

2007-12-15T07:57:00.000-08:00

If you haven't checked out thesixtyone.com yet (link), you should. It's a site where new artists can post their songs and have users rate them. Each song can be "bumped" up the list, eventually making it to the sixtyone homepage. Songs are available for buying via amazon, or some are free for download. Loren Radis chose the free download route, b/c he rocks.

His bio would describe him best,

"Loren Radis (that's me) is a California based singer/songwriter heavily influenced by the likes of Simon & Garfunkel, Iron & Wine, Damien Rice, and Elliot Smith.I've been playing guitar since I was twelve and singing since I could talk, but only in the last year has writing and performing music become a more serious pursuit.Music has helped me through a few really hard times in my life and if I can do the same for other people then I'll feel like I'm doing something worthwhile. All I really hope for is that people will enjoy listening.Thanks, -loren"

His website is here. With sixtyone, you can also create playlists and send the link out to friends. You can check out one that I created here. It's very chill.

Does everyone have this dream?

2007-12-12T19:58:00.000-08:00

I just spoke with a buddy of mine, and he is the second person I've talked to that has had this same dream. You freak out that you haven't gone to the last several weeks of one particular class, and you're afraid that you failed it. I had it once where it was an online class, and I thought "dumb idea, this whole online class thing. Shouldn't have signed up for that guy."

Does anyone else have this same type of dream? And it feels so real, too. You even have that feeling of your stomach sinking out of fear. I can't believe I forgot about that class!

Samaritan's Purse 2007 Gift Catalog

2007-12-11T07:04:00.000-08:00

$9 feeds a hungry baby for a week
$50 provides a child with a month's care at a safe haven, away from bondage and abuse
$35 gives an orphan a month of loving care
$15 gives a child much-needed school supplies, or pays for a month's tuition

Full gift catalog here: https://giving.samaritanspurse.org/c-18-gift-catalog-index.aspx

'Hope you catch my heart here. Nothing wrong with asking for some cool stuff for Christmas, or giving for that matter. I am. But, something to think about for an additional little something, or maybe a replacement for an item on your list.

I met kind of a big deal in San Diego

2007-12-11T05:35:00.000-08:00

I went to San Diego last week for about 4 days. It was lots of fun. One of the highlights was meeting a celebrity (sort of). And by (sort of) I mean (not really), by which again I mean (not at all). Erroneous!*

But seriously. Everyone remembers MacGyver, right? I think the show won the Nobel Peace Price back in '92. Well the actor who played Mac is Richard Dean Anderson (RDA). At least I call him RDA. So I met his brother's friend's friend in San Diego. Yeah, the real deal.

Now that RDA and I are basically family, they've invited me over for Thanksgiving next year. I said I'd think about it. I'll probably go.

*Shout out to Beas on that. Other readers - what movie is that from?

Arrows (version 2)

2007-12-03T16:50:00.000-08:00

"His arrows surround me. Without mercy He splits my kidneys open; He pours out my gall on the ground" (Job 16:13, NASB).

I am not a huge coffee drinker, but I do love me some French Vanilla every once in a while. I'll tap that a few times a week. I do need to be careful because my body reacts easily to caffeine. After a cup, I'll sometimes notice my muscles are a little more jittery and I even start to get anxious about nothing. I get wrestless.

It will often trigger memories. It's like an arrow will hit me at my side, bringing with it a memory of a hurtful time of life, a time when anxiety was my master. A time when I couldn't help but scream out loud in the shower, a scream of utmost agony. Nothing is worth that much anxiety. But during that time in life, it started to feel familiar to me, like a twisted sense of comfort and safety. I began to know what that felt like, and it was my outlet. All clear signs of sinking into despair.

I wish I knew what steps I took to get out of that, but I don't. I know God must have had something to do with bringing me out of it, but I don't think I can say to myself, given I fall into another phase of that, "ok, this sucks but, I can just apply what I learned last time and bam - I'm out of this."

And the memories stick, like arrows do. Whoever invented arrows was a smart, morbid person. They are designed to enter the body and stick. You can't really pull them out without shredding the innards along with them.

It reminds me of Braveheart, where one of the fathers was shot by an arrow. In order to continue to fight, he snapped off the end of the arrow, leaving the tip lodged in his body. That's all he could do to get up and move.

So now what? Are these arrows permanently lodged in my body with blood dripping down, making up the person that I am? Or will they just somehow go away? Or better yet, will God completely heal those wounds with his healing touch, while leaving those memories there as part of my story? I hope the latter, because I need those memories to relate to people. When I see someone struggling with anxiety, my heart absolutely breaks for them. And I can't say, "chin up." I can only say, "this sucks that you're in this spot, and I don't know what God's doing with it, and I know how much you hurt right now," and just sit there with them.

I am glad that I have these arrows with me. I just hope that another will see them and say, "hey, those look a lot like mine. Would you sit with me for a minute?"

Dramatic Look

2007-11-16T06:32:00.000-08:00

I can't get enough of this...

Size Smoothie, Please

2007-11-13T10:09:00.000-08:00

Another Richmond story. Then maybe - if I'm feeling it - I'll get to some serious posts.

The other day at Ukrops I felt like having a smoothie. A pumpkin spice smoothie none-the-less. It went a little like this:

Me: "Yeah, I'd like a small smoothie."
Smoothie Girl: "We only have one size."
Me: "Oh ok. Then I'll have a ... size smoothie please."

I think she got a kick out of it. I know I did.

Abbreviate abbreviate

2007-09-27T15:25:00.000-07:00

Can you abbreviate the word abbreviate? I wonder if it's ever been done. I think the universe would collapse on itself. Pretty sure. I don't know, I'm not a scientist, okay? So back off.

At some point soon I'll start to post some meaningful, non-random stuff up on this piece. I have a few thoughts abrewin'. That's why they call me the abrewin'master.

PS> the baby picture seemed to make sense at the time at how to represent this quandary. I think the little guy really holds the site together.

Web 4.0

2007-09-24T14:31:00.000-07:00

I think the next Web whatever.0 will be Web 4.0, the search for 3.0.

Think about it.

PS> The image on this entry represents the internet. I looked it up. It's accurate.

That Just Happened (I Love Richmond)

2007-09-18T08:48:00.000-07:00

I have to blog about this. Last night I went to a Hookah restaurant with a buddy of mine, Andrew Hayes, and we got a taste of true Richmond. We walked into the restaurant, and the conversation went a little like this:

Dude Behind Counter (DBC): To go or sit down?
Us: Sit down.
DBC: Then sit the F*** down.

He said it in a straight face. I couldn't help but laugh. Is it wrong to think this is funny? If it is, then I don't wanna be right.

Filters

2007-01-24T00:31:00.000-08:00

It's 12:31AM; I can't fall asleep; I have some blogable thoughts; here I am; semicolon count = 4 ;-)

Now on to the blog topic: filters. With all the decisions we make on a daily basis, I'm blown away by the complexity of the human mind. So many thoughts originating from who knows where. I've found the following filters to be helpful as I examine my thoughts and make decisions. Check them out -

Encouraging vs. discouraging. If you take a thought and really examine it, you can make the following assessment: if it's encouraging, then it's worth holding onto; if it's discouraging, then it can't be from God, and it has no value. 'Shout out to Jason for conversations we've had on this during college.
Beneficial vs. harmful to others. If you're on the verge of saying a comment to another human being, you can ask yourself the following: will this benefit or build up this person, or will it harm him/her in some way? I like how Paul puts it, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, that it may benefit those who listen" (Ephesians 4:29).

Ok, off to bed. I'm not that bummed about strugglin' to fall asleep; I had a good nap after lunch today, and it gives me an opportunity to reflect. Worth it :)

Too Afraid to Dream

2006-11-26T19:38:00.000-08:00

During a talk I attended a couple years back in college, the speaker shared his thoughts on dreams. Not the kind you have when you're asleep, but those "I'd like to do that some day" type of goals you have for your life. He advised us to use caution when sharing our dreams with people, because why should people take us seriously if we keep talking about them w/out ever doing anything about them. I'm butchering his message, but that's the gist.

We then went around sharing some dreams we have for ourselves, and I said that I wanted to go to a place affected by the Tsunami for a mission trip. That summer I ended up going to the Dominican Republic for 2 weeks. Touché, speaker guy.

So what do I do with that? When do those "that'd be sweet" goals manifest into something real, and when do they simply change as life changes? Or do you put them on a todo list and knock them out one by one when you get the time?

That's my attempt at translating all of this into a blog entry ;-)

Wireless Energy - That Just Happened!

2006-11-15T08:45:00.000-08:00

A while ago I posted a blog about wireless energy, my foolproof invention to get rid of those pesky wires and batteries. It turns out that some "researchers" at MIT are actually working on it and making progress. I know it's bold of me to say, but, they probably got the idea off my blog, and it feels great!

Article: http://hardware.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=06/11/15/134225&from=rss

A Mother's Embrace

2006-09-09T09:49:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, as I was chillin' at a coffee shop with friends, there was a little girl and her parents hanging out near us. She suddenly slipped and bumped her arm on the table.

What transpired was like a process. She first assumed a face of complete surprise and terror, as if to say, "what just happened?!" She then realized the situation, and a look of pain made her eyes squint and swell up with the urge of tears. She started to cry and you could tell she just wanted the pain to go away.

What happened next was a collision of different reactions from the mother and father. The father immediately asked his daughter, "what's wrong? what can I do?" The mother simply picked her up out of her chair and held her. The girl burrowed her head into her mom's chest and let the tears flow.

There's a lot of stuff going on there, and I'm still drawing meaning from it. The Dad has a big heart and he wanted to fix the situation, but it didn't line up with her needs. She needed her Mom to hold her. She needed the pain to go away.

Ian, Let Me Have This

2006-07-19T09:48:00.000-07:00

The last three days at work have been my busiest since I've been there. My head was wrapped in this project, and I basically shut off the world. I got sucked in and it consumed the majority of my thoughts.

Today after work I went to Starbucks to meet up with Jason and Brian. I had some time to kill, so I just CHILLED for a minute. It was the best chill time I've had in a while. I journaled, read some heart-impacting verses, and stared into space. Finally my mind was NOT on my project, and it was relieving.

That was the 1st step I think - taking a second to breath. The next bigger step was while I was on my way home this evening. God clearly said to me*, "Ian, let me have this." So that was that. I no longer own this project at work; it is now in His hands. And I'm cool with that.

*If you ever want to talk about God "saying" anything to you, or to humans in general, let me know. I dig this sort of topic. It's like you have this thought that springs from something, and there had to be an external source that formed it. Although it's not really external, because this thing called the Holy Spirit is like Jesus living inside my heart, making His dwelling there. Dang this is a big asterisk ;-)

Jesus Never Retaliated

2006-07-16T09:48:00.000-07:00

I read Wild at Heart a few years ago, and there is a part where John Eldredge is counseling his son Blaine regarding a bully at school who had pushed him down. He says to him, "The next time that bully pushes you down...I want you to get up...and I want you to hit him...as hard as you possibly can."

Last night at church they had a guest speaker named Don who talked about humility. He spoke about how Jesus willingly died on the cross. Jesus was beaten, mocked, whipped until near-death, forced to wear a crown of thorns, and finally crucified.

Not once did he strike back.

I dig Wild at Heart, but I don't know how to reconcile these two stories. What does the story of Jesus mean for us? How does that transpire in our lives at work, at school? If someone wrongs us, do we just let them? When do we stand up for ourselves, and when do we endure suffering?

Comments are welcome! :)

Bitterness is Like Peeing Down Your Leg...

2006-06-26T09:47:00.000-07:00

... no one else feels it but you. I used to do this thing called Raft, a volunteer crisis hotline service. One of the other counselors said that to someone on the phone. I'm not sure if that's best to say to someone going through a rough time, but it will get their attention. It certainly got mine.

Last night I was having dinner with Laura, and a bitter thought started to dwell within me. Someone had said something to me several months ago, and I have yet to really let it go. The result - I get pissed off at someone, and that person has no idea. Bitterness is always one-sided.

We can respond to it several different ways. We can (1) continue to be pissed off about it while it eats us from the inside-out; (2) brush it off and let it brew slowly until it creeps back up again; or (3) let God help you. At some point it takes a prayer like, "I can't do this on my own, so You need to help me with this." At this point, God can work on your heart.

I can't say I'm fully over this thing, but I'm getting there.

Giant Eyeball Bank

2006-05-08T09:47:00.000-07:00

Several years back my brother bought me a giant eyeball piggy bank, sans piggy, for my birthday. You may see it as you walk into my room on the book shelf, and it may even freak you out a little. They're not exactly "street legal." Okay they are but that's always fun to say.

Yesterday for the first time I cashed in. I went to Kroger and approached the giant green change-to-real-cash-converter machine with my giant eyeball bank in hand. After taking literally 15 minutes of shoving the coins into the coin eater-upper, the total came up to $37.45!

It was a good day.

doubt met with awe

2006-04-24T09:47:00.000-07:00

It's 12:21am and I'm tired, but I need to jot this stuff down. I must admit that every once in a while I'll take a step back and think, is this whole thing real? Does God really love me and do I even matter? Did God really create everything around me? When I pray, is anyone/anything listening? It all just feels like some abstract thought.

I had one of those moments tonight, and certain images came to mind. The sunset, the leaves changing color in the Fall, the sky right before a storm, a father connecting with his son. I then thought, God did this. God made all these things. They are all beautiful because there was someone with the capacity to create beauty, if only to dazzle us. I refuse to believe that nature just "happened," and that these wonders are simply byproducts of chance. There is a painter behind the masterpiece.

My 10K picture

2006-04-11T09:46:00.000-07:00

I received an email saying my picture was up for the 10K. I clicked on the link and this is what came up. It's not me though. I was wearing a red shirt, not gray.

Monument 10K

2006-04-02T09:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I ran the Monument 10K here in Richmond. My brother convinced me to do it a few months ago, and I ran it with him and his wife Meghan. I should say him and my sister-in-law because she rocks. Afterwards we got a ton of free stuff, like Doritos, bananas (my fav), energy bars, free trips with JetBlue. That last one would be SWEET!

A thought hit me after the race while I was people watching. Every single person there, 20,000 runners, were all unique. They all had their own stories. Their own dreams, hopes, wounds. I had this urge to speak to every one of them and to take a look into their lives.

It was a quick thought, so that's really all I have to write ;-)

I'm a web developer!

2006-03-30T09:45:00.000-08:00

I'm a real person now. I get up in the morning and go to work! Last Monday at 3:30 I called up some dude named Bob Lee and said "tell me where to sign" and he said "sweet" and I started working for Salem Web Network (SWN) on a Tuesday. SWN is basically the web division for Salem Communications (SC). SC owns and operates a bunch of Christian radio stations. They have also acquired smaller organizations, such as oneplace.com and crosswalk.com.

What do I get to do? Help design the websites. My title is "web developer" which is kind of fun. I did some web design in college and really enjoyed it. This is week 2, and so far I am liking it. It's quite different from my last job with Genworth. Different I think in a good way. Not to bash Genworth, but it just wasn't my thing, and that's ok.

So yeah, that's the news! I'll try and post some more stuff up on this hog. Lately I've had a bunch of thoughts coming out of nowhere, and several moments of "I need to write this down!" I'll try and get on that :-P

Thank you SO much to everyone for supporting me in the job search. You rock, and I appreciate your prayers and encouragement.

Head Exploding

2006-03-17T09:44:00.000-08:00

Let me keep this whole thing in perspective...

- I've been looking for a job since really the beginning of January
- I posted my resume on Monster.com about 2 weeks ago
- Next day, I received 5 calls
- This week, I received 2 offers from places here in Richmond

With that being said, this is an answer to prayer. I have been asking for God to provide me with a job that I would enjoy. The latter part is yet to be determined, but I can bank on God's goodness for that. I heard a sermon recently talk about the Fall. I am realizing that this next gig is probably not going to be easy. It will (hopefully) be more enjoyable, at least more so than my last job, but it's probably going to be hard. And that's how it's supposed to be. After Adam and Eve screwed up, God said: "By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food" (Gen. 3:19). Work is gonna be hard, no matter what you're doing, and that's cool. But I do still believe it can be something you like to do.

So the decision is, what job should I take? Between the 2 offers here in Richmond, I know which one I'd take. However, I had an interview yesterday morning for a position as web developer for the Lynchburg City Schools. The dude after me said he had started his own web development company 5 years ago and has been doing it ever since. Pretty good competition ;-) So the decision then is, do I take this job in Richmond which looks sweet, or do I say no and hold out for the potential of another job in Lynchburg with some really good competition?

When thinking about this whole thing I felt like my head was going to explode last night. Like it was going to spontaneously combust. I'm not always the best at making decisions. I'll analyze every possible situation and consequence and then analyze it again. Then again just to be sure. Then I'll ask 45 different people about it. Meanwhile God is saying the whole time, "Ian... anytime you want to talk about this, I'm right here."

Yup - venting. I'll post another blog w/in the next week or so with what I decide. Thanks to my audience for reading my thoughts :-)

The few perks to suffering

2006-03-12T09:44:00.000-08:00

It's getting late on a Sunday night, but I have a few thoughts running around in my head that I need to get out. So here they go.

For those of you who do not know, I have been looking for a job since December 16, 2005. This time of my life is right up there with Not-So-Fun-Fall-of-2001 (NSFF01). I can call it suffering because it feels like suffering. Although there have been times of hope, there have also been times of desperation.

Despite this fog that I am in, I have noticed some good things come out of this. Let me do the best I can with articulating these inarticulate thoughts of mine:

Relating to others. After NSFF01, it's like I developed this sense to pick up on depression from others. Give me a few minutes of interacting with someone, and I can tell whether or not they are battling depression and/or anxiety. When you go through it, you know all of the ways to deceive others, and they no longer work on you. It's almost like you join this club and you can tell who the other members are. A few years ago a buddy of mine approached me and said he wanted to talk about depression. We had lunch and talked about life. He came to me because he knew I had gone through it. We deal with crap so that we can help others deal with it, too.
Intimacy. Although it can be sporadic, I have never been so intimate with God as I am now. Several times I have come to a point where I can no longer contain all of these thoughts and worries in my mind, and they come gushing out in the form of tears. All I can do is weep in front of God. It's my way of saying, "this is me, God. This is my brokenness. This is my desparation." I DIG those times. It's like I can't keep this facade up, that I have everything together, and He finally gets a chance to slowly heal my heart. The best part is the immediate feeling afterwards. I physically feel lighter, like this heavy burden has been lifted from me. It becomes this realization that we are not meant to handle everything on our own. We need God's help. Otherwise, we drown.
Humility. I tend to play it off like I know what I'm doing with this thing called life. How many times do we respond with "I'm good" to the question, "how are you?" Even if we have a horrible day, we don't want to make a big deal out of it, so we say we are doing "fine." I hate this! I hate this but I do it so often. Being in this rut has forced me to be more real with others. It's OK to have a horrible day. It's OK to be doubting God's goodness. It's OK and straight up NORMAL to not be ok. I have had some of the best conversations with close friends of mine lately. This has been a perfect opportunity to share my life with others, the good, bad, and the ugly. We're designed for community, and we can only get so far with people unless we give up this need to have it all together.
Growth. Although I am still in the midst of this season of uncertainty and confusion, I look forward to coming out of this knowing God more and knowing myself more than I ever have. I look forward to saying things like "this one time really SUCKED because I didn't have this, but then God gave me THIS instead because He knew it was better for me in the first place," or, "I'm going to trust God with this because I've had to trust Him in the past, and He likes to pull through."

I hope this all makes sense and I hope it doesn't come as a shock to anyone. I was definitely holding off on any blogging for a few months now. I didn't want people to know that I don't know what the heck I'm doing w/ my life right now. Well... I don't! ;-)

Into a Spacious Place

2005-10-22T09:42:00.000-07:00

"You have not handed me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place." - Ps. 31.8

"He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me." - Ps. 18:19

Lately I have been thinking about this "spacious place" Paul writes about in Psalms. What does he mean? What does it look like? I know that Paul went through some significant sufferings when his adversaries were after his life. I wonder if Paul's spacious place was a place that was devoid of all enemies, where he could find complete safety in the arms of God.

Does God have a spacious place set aside for each of us? When I think about this place, I think of the view from a plane's window while traveling at high altitudes. I love to look out and see a bed of clouds that look like gigantic pillows. They are surrounded by absolutely nothing but the empty, spacious blue sky. I think of my spacious place as such a place w/out worries, w/out the pressures of this world, w/out accusations, w/out brokenness.

It helps me sleep at night to close my eyes and put myself in this place. I picture Jesus walking steadily towards me, to meet me in this serenity. Just me and Him. I try my hardest to touch his robe, to sense the power of this friend who desperately wants to meet with me.

I like this spacious place. What is your's?

Richmond...the new Blacksburg?

2005-10-18T09:41:00.000-07:00

I am writing this from the career services building on campus in Blacksburg (Virginia Tech). Yesterday evening we had a recruiting social event for my company at Bogen's restaurant. I was a big fan of the free food, but I was much more excited about what was to come afterwards.

At 8:45pm I met up with 12 friends from Homegroup at Macado's, the best restaurant in Bburg. There I was, sitting at a table with some of my closest friends. I almost teared up when I said a prayer before dinner, thanking God for this community of friends. It honestly felt like a glimpse of heaven as I looked around to see these children of God who are head over heals in love with Jesus and with each other. There we were laughing and enjoying each other's company, and I am confident that God had a smile on his face.

Afterwards I went to my buddies Josh, Gary & Joel's place for some no-messin'-around foosball. I was a little nervous as these guys have been playing like woah and I haven't been around a foosball table much since moving to Richmond. But it worked out well; I ended up 5 and 1. I'll take that ;-)

About the title of this blog entry... I'm realizing it's not that it's the town of Blacksburg that makes this place so perfect, it's more of the community I have found here. So many times I find myself longing to be back here and relive everything about VT, but I don't think that's the best move. I'm giving it time, but I am looking forward to finding in Richmond what I have come to love here in Blacksburg. It'll happen, because I think that's how God designed us, to live in community with others. Richmond will some day become the new Blacksburg, straight up.

encouragement lasts

2005-09-28T09:40:00.000-07:00

I started playing soccer from day 1 of whatever age you could start playing as a kid. Not to brag, but I was pretty good. Especially during middle school, I called the shots as a sweeper back on defense. I didn't mess around on the field.

Things changed my freshman year. Honestly... I all the sudden sucked at soccer. I got hardly any playing time. I couldn't run for an extended period of time before I lost my breath, unable to exert any more effort. It didn't take much for me to start getting down on myself for my lack of skill.

Then there was this one game. I was a different player out there. I looked up, I communicated with my teammates, I handled the ball well. I knew what I was doing out there on that field. I could tell my teammates were surprised. Who is this kid all the sudden? I was on fire, and I could feel it. Everything clicked. Things were different. After the game no one came up to me and said anything. At that point, I didn't need them to. I was just on a high from the game.

The next day at school, things started to wear off. I was an ordinary, average kid again. I did okay at school, but soccer wasn't my thing anymore. Maybe it was a phase that lasted up til 9th grade. I had no idea what was going to hit me...

My coach was also my math teacher. He came up to me in math class privately and told me, "You looked good out there yesterday."

As I write this the tears begin to flow. What Mr. Stevens said changed my world. Before I was this no-good soccer player with nothing to offer on the field. After he encouraged me, I could have climbed Mt. Everest in less than 40 minutes. Those simple words made such an impact on my life.

Lesson - compliment someone tomorrow. Encourage the mess out of them. Or, as God says, "Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness" (Hebrews 3:13). Sin has a way of tricking you into believing that you are less than desirable. This is crap, because God has made us because He delights in us. As David would say, "He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me" (Psalm 18:19)

Latin America Festivities

2005-09-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

At work today at the cafeteria, there was a group of dancers doing a gig for some Latin American tribute.

The dancing was interesting, but when the one dude spoke at the microphone, he didn't speak a WORD of Latin. What a hoax...

Thanks, you too! Wait...dang it!

2005-09-20T09:39:00.000-07:00

This weekend I am going to the Gauley River in WV for a white water rafting trip with my brother and friends for his bachelor party. I just received a call from the rafting organization for a confirmation of the details. Upon the end of the conversation, she says, "have a good trip!"

How do I respond to that? "Thanks, you too!" Haha, I love it! I highly doubt she will be taking a rafting trip herself this weekend. But, what if she is?! How sweet would that be? It would have been the perfect way to respond! Pure genius.

I can think of one more example of this type of conversation. When I bought my car a few years ago, the salesdude said to me, "enjoy your car!" Once again, I responded with "thanks, you too!" Dang it! Instead of saying "you are a moron. You're the one with the car," he simply smiled and we both went our separate ways. In the end it worked out.

If you want to know more about who I am - this is a good chance. Situations like this make me laugh. This type of humor hits my wave length. Because you see my humor is based on waves of laughter. They look like the sin() and cos() waves in trig class. With the cusps and what not.

The Mind...Blows My Mind

2005-09-16T09:38:00.000-07:00

Does your mind ever play some serious tricks on you? Do you ever start believing something that your mind completely makes up? Do you know what I am referring to? It's like all the sudden this new thought in your head becomes reality, at least until you realize its absurdity.

Let me give you 2 examples from my world:

One night, before tackling an important project at work the next day (deleting and reloading millions of records of data), I started thinking about 2 tasks I needed to complete the next day. They were incredibly important and affected the lives of 2 individuals. This was big! This could make or break my career at Genworth. I remember brushing my teeth and thinking about it. So, it wasn't even a thought that was randomly generated in the middle of the night. Nope, before I even laid down in my bed, there it was out of nothingness. What blew me away was that I was so utterly convinced that this was reality. I had to go into work the next morning to face these tasks. Okay so as I write this... it's not as interesting as it sounds. Dang it! :-P #2 will be better.
A couple of nights ago I woke up around 3 in the morning and got so unbelievably excited about that day. It was student teach day! "Reality" for me turned into a situation where I was both working at Genworth and student teaching, depending on the day of the week. Well, it was Wednesday, which meant student teach day. I vividly remember my heart getting fired up for that day. I get to teach! I will never forget this joy. As a follower of Christ, I can be hopeful and expect to someday find a career which ignites a raging fire within my heart, every day I wake up for work.

Jeremiah 29:11 reads, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Although God may see it differently, I see "prospering" as fulfilling God's purpose for me. And if I am to fulfill that purpose, only then will I become fully alive. Until that time, I will wait for the Lord. But, time is never wasted. Everything I do now will somehow be part of the man I am to become later.

Trains + Cows = Happiness

2005-09-03T09:37:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you about two things that make me happy. They are completely unrelated things, but that's my style.

TRAINS - Last weekend Laura and I went to Brown's Island in Richmond. If you haven't been, you have to go! It's a really chill park that has a bridge with train tracks overhead. Soon after we sat down on the ground to read together, a train started to pass by on the bridge. This unexplained peace came over me. All of my worries of work and life left me, atleast for a little while. The train produced a steady low roar that was soothing to my soul. If that train went by all day long, I would be found w/out wanting.
COWS - If you have ever been around the milk section in Kroger, at just the right time, you will know what I am talking about. The other day, again drowning in my worries, I walked by the milk section and suddenly heard a "MOOOOO!" I smiled and couldn't help but laugh. This is why I love Kroger: they play COW SOUNDS near the milk section. With enough effort on my part, someday they will acquiesce and play grape sounds when you pass the wine section. I think you know what I'm talkin' about. That would be sweet.

What breaks your heart?

2005-08-24T09:37:00.000-07:00

I once heard a talk about passion. At the time I was feeling fresh out, so I was happy to gain wisdom on the matter. How do you find what you're passionate about? How do you follow that passion?

What she said changed my perspective. I simply thought your passion was something that you really really liked. Although that is true, there is much more to it. According to this woman, a good question to ask yourself is, what makes you cry? What breaks your heart?

I DIG that. Whatever breaks your heart has the ability to penetrate it. One thing I have experienced is a flooding of my tears as I think about things that absolutely break my heart. This is a good sign. I love it when this emotion takes over. It's almost as if I am no longer capability of hiding my heart from God. This passion dwells up within me and cries out, "LET ME OUT!"

Let me ask you, what breaks your heart?

Wet Paint Sign + Women's Forum

2005-08-17T09:36:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day at work today. Let me tell you why...

STORY #1 - Wet Paint Sign
A few years ago I put a poll up on my buddy profile asking if people touched walls with "Wet Paint" signs on them to see if it was still wet. 55% said yes. So today there were a few wet paint signs up in my office. Well for the first time EVER the wall was still wet! Holy crap was I pumped. This was a first, perhaps a first in the history of... touching walls with wet paint signs on them.

STORY #2 - Women's Forum
I went downstairs to get a snack, and check it - there was a room with a bunch of people having free ice cream. I decided to sneak in and act like I was a part of the group. I looked around to notice that I was the only GUY in the whole freakin' room. It turns out it was for a all-women's group. Yeah they found out pretty quickly that I wasn't part of their group. But it was cool because one of them women asked me if I wanted some ice cream. I accepted and proceeded to hang out with them for a little bit. I don't even feel that bad about it. Those groups are supposed to be open to everyone, right? I might join a Pan-Asian group next week. I've never even been to Pan-Asia! However, a buddy of mine is Pan-Asian, so that makes her my IN! Dang I am slick.

Wireless Energy Invention

2005-08-11T09:36:00.000-07:00

Warning: the following is highly confidential. If someone else claims this as their invention, I'll be ticked!

Check this out... we now have wireless internet, which is nice. I'm no electrical engineer, but I imagine there is a signal that is emitted by a wireless router which is then picked up by laptops. We already have the whole signal flying in the air technology, why not have WIRELESS ENERGY?! You have this thing which transmits signals of energy, and all electronic devices simply tap into it. No more wires, no more pesky outlets in the wall, it would be a different world.

Scott Randa has made the comment, "don't they already have that? It's called a 'battery'". Well Scott, you're wrong. Can a battery fly in the air like a signal can? It doesn't even look like a wavy thing that a signal looks like. Signals have cusps and frequencies and what not. Does a battery have all those things? Nope! Don't worry Scott, I have already thought this all through. It's fool-proof.

It's Just a Truck

2005-08-11T09:35:00.000-07:00

About two months ago I visited Laura at her parents' place in the Shenandoah Valley. Her grandparents live within walking distance. On the way back from a walk to the bridge, Laura's grandfather drove by and stopped to say hi. I said to him, "nice truck!" His reply changed my perspective: "it's just a truck."

It's just a truck. Do I ever say that regarding any of my possessions? It's just a car. It's just a laptop. It's just a ... everything I have. I worry too much about material stuff. One day, hopefully not soon, the things I have I will have no more.

If you ever need a good kick in the face, go to the Dominican Republic, or another place with a significant poor population. Look at the smiles on the faces of children who have so little. If you are lucky, you can spot them dancing in the streets, or singing songs together with friends.

A cool verse: "give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread" (Prov. 30:8). What a bold prayer. Do I have the guts to pray that? If so, then a lot of things I have or want goes out the door. Can I give up those things?

I just got out of college

2005-08-06T09:33:00.000-07:00

Some people like to say, "I just got out of bed." I like to say, "I just got out of college." It's true, I recently graduated from Virginia Tech. I had the time of my life. I had the best of times. Or rather, I had the best of times YET. There is no reason why God should not continue unfolding His plans for me as I go, and I know he has nothing but an adventure for me. I get excited thinking about who I am going to be a year from now. I get excited thinking about how closer I will be to the man I am supposed to be. I have a purpose, and each day I hopefully get closer and closer to fulfilling that purpose. If not, then I am spinning my wheels. Everything I do is part of my story. Some of the ingredients are bitter, but the cake in the end is going to be a masterpiece that God can't wait to reveal to me.

Believe it or not, I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). That is a truth I can hang on to.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I'm not sure what the "fearfully" part means, but someday I will understand. Any thoughts, leave a comment!

I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I can praise God for that.

The Verizon Girl is a Real Person!

2005-08-02T09:33:00.000-07:00

Last night I spoke with the Verizon girl*. You know, the girl who is all "Please enter your password, then press pound" when you check your messages. It turns out that she is a real person who lives 50-60 miles away from Northern Virginia. She didn't want to give me a specific location, which I understand. I wouldn't give that information out either. She's really nice though. If you haven't had the chance to talk with her, it's because she takes breaks often and just has a machine do her job. She takes breaks really often. So someday, if you're lucky, you'll be able to talk with her! Her name is Helen.

*This all happened in a dream. It is the complete opposite of the truth.

Dominican Republic

2005-07-17T09:32:00.000-07:00

On June 28 my girlfriend Laura and I returned from our 2-week long mission trip to Monte Plata, Dominican Republic. We worked with a school there and helped to prepare for the upcoming summer camps. Below are some highlights from our trip.

HIGHLIGHTS:

COWS --- As we were walking back to the school with Laura's host brother from 6 years ago, we came across 2 cows walking in the opposite direction. They both had leashes, but were without a care giver. I couldn't believe my eyes - 2 random cows just walking down the street. We asked Arian what the deal was, and he responded, "they do that from time to time." That's awesome! And yes, this is my number 1 high from the trip. Well, it's at least in the top 5.
MUTE --- After eating lunch at a restaurant, we stopped at a store to buy some hair extensions for some of the female interns. I decided to wait outside, because hair extensions are not really my thing. I had a box of left-over food in my hand, and a boy approached me with his hand extended as a request for some food. I first said no because of the twins we were going to give the food to back at the school. After God tugged on my heart a little, I decided to give him the food. I tried to start a conversation with him in Spanish, but to no avail. After seeing him a second time the day before leaving, a boy named Wilton informed us that he was mute. It breaks my heart. I complain sometimes about stuttering, but at least I can talk. This kid is a creation of God, and God knew what He was doing when he made him w/out the ability to talk. Although it remains a mystery to me, I know that God has good plans for this kid.
KIDS WORSHIPING --- Laura and I helped the orphans move into their new home. 6 kids in total are now in the orphanage. After a long day of painting the doorway to the new house, and moving their stuff, we had a dinner celebration for the family. After dinner, with the electricity out, the kids were singing praise songs around the kitchen. They ran around the house and outside singing together from their hearts in sincere joy. I can only imagine how big of a smile God had when receiving praise from these kids. It made everything worthwhile.
WATERFALLS --- On the first Saturday, a few of us went to some waterfalls about an hour away from Monte Plata. I didn't know what to expect, but perhaps a small little waterfall that's maybe worth a camera shot. However, we walk down this path to the water, and 3 giant waterfalls are thundering down. It took my breath away. The water was refreshing, so we swam up to the waterfalls and tried our best to remain underneath them. There was an area to the side of the falls for some mud therapy. The natives would cover themselves with mud and bask in the sun. God was creative in how he made the earth, straight up.
LEADERTREKS --- 2 groups from Leadertreks came to the DR. They were both a group of high school students there for short term mission trips. It was nice to have some English speaking people there with us. They worked extremely hard during the day, and had fun together and with the kids in the evening. Their drive to serve God was inspiring.
ARISLEIDI --- I met an orphan named Arisleidi who was living in the new orphanage home. Her story left my heart breaking for similar stories that I'm sure are a part of many lives in the DR. She grew up with an alcoholic father, and a mother who had left town. She lived in a small hut with a single bed for 6 people to share. When her father left during the day, she was forced to act as the caregiver for all her younger siblings. When the school and orphanage took her in, she did not behave well for the first year. She wasn't used to any authority in the house. However, after some getting used to, she started to obey her orphan parents and behave better in school. She has since decided to follow Jesus, and her father has too. She is fortunate to see her father once a week at church.

why resist?

2005-03-25T09:32:00.000-08:00

last thursday i stayed up until 4am. normally i would not be pumped about this. so many thoughts ran through my head that got me fired up. what if i was a high school teacher? what if i can make an impact on a teenager that will last a lifetime? as i write this several teachers automatically come to mind: Momma Chern, Dileo, Mr. Sue-Jeens-Ski, Giles.

Giles is a licensed lawyer. he decided to teach business law, a job with a LOT less income. i went to visit him during his office hours, and he lit up. i could touch his passion it was so evident.

Momma Chern! during fourth period one day, she looked down and said, "these aren't my pants!" FOURTH PERIOD! i loved AP English, and writing for me is pulling teeth!

Dileo - a man with a stutter. enough said.

Mr. S greeted me as I walked into his classroom. he cried on the last day. that caught me off guard. i want to be that passionate.

it's a matter of me getting the balls to follow through with this. i'm signed on for two years at Genworth Financial. after that, MBA? masters of Education? or maybe consulting.

uncertainty... i hate it and i love it. i want to know what i'm doing in the future, but i love it how God has some sweet plans up his sleeve.

my last semester

2005-01-21T09:29:00.000-08:00

and i'm back at VT for my last semester. i felt out of whack for a few days before school started. i suppose it was the break in my routine of school. winter break was nice to chill at home, but I missed being at school. i'm used to school. i'm used to waking up every morning to go lift weights with 3 awesome Godly men. routine. it has been routine for me to be surrounded by such an awesome community. God has brought me through quite a bit since sophomore year.

i feel like this is going to be one of those "reflective" semesters. Jason told me the other day that I should not be surprised at seeing miracles. God's provision for me last summer was a miracle. I had no place to live. God provided. i didn't know which church to go to. God provided. i was beginning to wonder about whether or not I would ever meet someone. God provided. i do not know what the future holds, but i do know that God does. my future is in the hands of God. and He has a good future for me. He wants me to be happy. He wants me to feel joy. He does no rejoice in my sadness. He does not rejoice in my emptiness. He does not rejoice in my guilt.

I too often forget God's grace. i completely disregard it at times. Jesus' blood has washed away my sins. my sins yesterday, my sins today, my sins tomorrow. washed away. for me to feel guilt is to walk away from the cross. for me to obsess over the past is to walk away from the cross. i must not walk away from the cross. i must not walk away from the gift of salvation. i must embrace God's grace. i must embrace the cross.

k i'm butt-tired. i am pretty pumped about sleeping in tomorrow. big fan :)

thanksgiving break

2004-11-23T09:28:00.000-08:00

hello all. so here i am chillin' at the home front in NOVA (burke, va). before i came here i first stopped by lynchburg to visit a pretty gal named Laura. and, to see some friends of mine i made last summer. we had an awesome time. she even suggested that we watch The Three Amigos. i like this girl ;-) it was good times. she liked the movie :)

it's nice to not do school work for a little bit. i've been pretty good at being a bum around the house. so i've got that going for me, which is nice. i'm wicked psyched to see people this wednesday. laura, definitely. and, my bro, future sis-in-law, cousins, aunt/uncles. and, my grand parents. i look forward to catching up with my grandfather in particular. we've recently established a correspondence via letters, and i'm curious to see what his thoughts are on my last letter. he sent me a frank letter with pretty blunt remarks, so i returned the tone. it's nice to stand up for who i am. i'm no longer a fan of backing down. turn the other cheek, definitely, but also let people know who you are. "let people feel the weight of who you are, and let them deal with it" (quoted in John Eldredge's book, Wild at Heart).

okay it is time for bed. and, i just might sleep in again. i did this morning, and it was nice :)

my question to leave you with: where does God fit in your life?

my first blog entry!

2004-11-15T09:22:00.000-08:00

well hello everyone. i'm not really sure who is ever going to read this, but it's all good. i'm not really sure what kind of stuff to write about in these blogs, quite frankly. but, i'm going to roll with it. yup... so... i guess that's it for now. i'm now going to head to the ol' car dealership and be all "yo, can you hook a brother up and fix my car for me? for free?" we'll see how that works out ;-)

may God reveal himself to you today.